my life as a 26 year-old woman

Yesterday I turned 26. I had a really great day complete with a great banner made for me with love by Liz, Pizzeria 712 pizza (one of Provo's...well, okay, Orem's, great treasures), indoor mini s'mores, episodes of FRIENDS, and a night of games and laughter with several of my most favorite people. Even the weather celebrated for me with some spring sunshine, the kind where the sunbeams are very nearly tangible around 5pm.

So it was great. I was happy and okay with getting older, right up until around the 1:30am mark on April 5th when I realized I am actually a 26 year-old woman. I even said that out loud to myself as I brushed my teeth. When I did, I really wished I was in the mood for crying. But it's hard to cry when you brush your teeth, and I was too tired in that moment to expend all the energy it takes to cry {crying is a very involved activity for me, with shoulder heaving and lots of mucus}.

When I was little, I honestly don't think I ever thought about turning 26. Of course I thought about turning 16, then 18, and then again 21. Those were all the big ones. And I've been fine with the obscure ages for a while now. I've blown right through the early twenties. Even when I hit 25, I embraced life by jumping out of an airplane in Moab. But 26 is a whole new kettle of fish, one that I was not prepared to eat or smell.

I'm no longer in the hip and cool 18-25 year-old age bracket. I'm in with the 26-35 year olds, where I feel like there can only be weirdos. And I'm a girl who is 26 and not married. I didn't expect when I pictured my life, as an 8 year-old or 15 year-old setting up Barbie weddings that by this point in my life I wouldn't have had my own by now. Also, I realize that maybe I should do an extensive analysis of my childhood. There may be some key red flags for my life now - Barbies at 15?

I went to bed feeling overwhelmed by everything I have yet to accomplish and underwhelmed by everything I haven't accomplished. But I'm taking charge. Now is the time to live. I am a 26 year-old woman. Bring it on, world.

"to live is the rarest thing in the world. most people exist, that is all." - oscar wilde