This has become one of my life creeds. With good reason, as I am reminded over and over again. Like tonight.
Sometimes, and probably more often than I'd like, I find myself in a mood where I feel like I mistake every word coming out of a person's mouth. I'm on edge like a lunatic cat, with my back arched and fur puffed out, and everything they say I assume is something I don't want to hear. Or in a different language that I completely don't understand. So I misunderstand.
Generally, it's fine - no harm, no foul. Or even better, hilarity ensues. But sometimes it just leads to discontent and me wondering, "what did they actually mean?" and "what could I have said?"
The episode of This American Life I listened to today was all about miscommunication. While the whole episode was great as usual, I especially loved this:
"Whenever there's a miscommunication, you always have to allow for the possibility that that's not really what they meant, it's just you're running up against the limitations of language. It kind of gives you a grace that you have to kind of give someone the benefit of the doubt. And it's actually a really nice thing." - Ben Karlin
People are wonderful and confusing and individual and sometimes it's impossible to know what we all mean when we speak, especially with the limits of our own language. I think of how there are times when I can't possibly find the words for what I'm thinking or don't want to. Sometimes my thoughts are so much more full left inside. I find it hard to pray out loud at times for that exact reason. And so, if I struggle to speak my thoughts, I can give others the benefit of the doubt and recognize also that I might not be able to understand them fully because of the limitations of language.
I also watched the movie Like Crazy last night. Aside from giving me a fear of love, it reiterated my life creed. While I actually really liked the movie, the relationship was painful to watch. That is a film full of not communicating. So much of their sadness could have been prevented if they would have just SAID SOMETHING.
In the end, I am pro-communication, but not a pro communicator. But I'm trying. Here are a couple more reasons why I support communicating and why you should vote for it in the upcoming elections.
- I can't think of a time that I regretted saying what I needed to say, as long as I said it calmly and tactfully.
- I do generally regret not saying something that I want to say. I hate thinking "What I should've said was..."
- When I don't say something I need or want to say that's important to me, I want to scream.
- I like hearing what other people are thinking, and when I talk, they talk back to me.
Communicating is always better than not communicating.
